Sexual violence encompasses various forms of non-consensual sexual acts, including rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion, as well as sexual harassment. Sexual violence can be perpetrated by and inflicted on anyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, and other identities. While many people think of sexual violence occurring between strangers, the reality is it can occur in various settings, including in intimate relationships, within families, or in the broader community. Sexual violence is a pervasive issue in many societies and cultures and can be a deeply traumatic experience for survivors.
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Sexual violence refers to any sexual behaviors or acts inflicted on an individual without their consent, including rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion, as well as sexual harassment. These non-consensual and unwelcome acts violate an individual’s autonomy, dignity, and physical and emotional well-being.
Although definitions of sexual violence can vary somewhat depending on situation and context, these are general distinctions among the various acts:
- Rape
- Definition: Rape is a specific form of sexual assault that involves engaging in sexual intercourse without someone’s explicit consent.
- Acts: Penetrating you vaginally, anally, and/or orally with any body part or an object without your consent
- Learn more about rape (External Site)
- Sexual assault
- Definition: Sexual assault is a broader term that encompasses a range of unwanted and non-consensual sexual contact beyond penetration.
- Acts: Groping, fondling, forced kissing, or any other form of unwanted sexual touching
- Learn more about sexual assault (External Site)
- Sexual coercion
- Definition: Sexual coercion is a spectrum of acts that uses pressure, alcohol or drugs, or physical force to have sexual contact with someone against their will and includes persistent attempts to have sexual contact with them when they have already refused.
- Acts: Making you feel like you owe them sex, badgering you into having sex with them, or making you feel threatened or afraid to say no to sex
- Learn more about sexual coercion (External Site)
- Sexual harassment
- Definition: Sexual harassment includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
- Acts: Exposing themselves or masturbating in front of you without your consent; discussing sexual relations or fantasies in inappropriate places like work and school; sending you unwanted sexually explicit photos, emails, or text messages
- Learn more about sexual harassment (External Site)
If you are interested in campus-specific definitions of sexual violence, see the University of Maine System’s Policy Manual Section 402.
Consent is a crucial factor in determining whether a sexual act is welcomed or whether it is a form of sexual violence. Consent is an agreement between individuals to participate in a sexual activity. It is an ongoing process of communicating your boundaries and what you’re comfortable with.
The acronym FRIES is often used to explain consent as being freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific:
- Freely given: You make a choice about engaging in sexual activity without pressure, manipulation, or being under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Reversible: You can change your mind about what you feel like doing at any time, and regardless of whether you have engaged in sexual activity before.
- Informed: You have the full story/picture of what you are agreeing to do in a sexual act; for example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t consent.
- Enthusiastic: You do only what sexual acts you want to do, not what you feel you are expected to do.
- Specific: You agree to do a particular sexual act on a particular occasion, and you get consent for any other sexual activity and other occasions.
Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, asleep, or unconscious. Without consent, any sexual activity is sexual assault or rape.
It’s not always obvious when someone has been impacted by sexual violence. It’s better to ask and be wrong than to let the person you care about struggle with the effects of sexual assault.
Here are some common signs that may indicate you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence:
- Physical injuries: Unexplained physical injuries, such as bruises, cuts, or pain in the genital or anal areas or in areas around the neck and throat
- Emotional and psychological changes: New or worsening depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, and other unusual changes in behavior
- Anxiety symptoms: Increased fear, anxiety, or paranoia, particularly when around the perpetrator or when discussing the assault
- Post-traumatic stress symptoms: Re-experiencing the trauma, avoidance of trauma reminders, heightened arousal, or negative changes in mood and thoughts
- Self-harm or suicidal ideation: Engaging in self-harming behaviors or having thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Substance use: Using or increasing use of alcohol or drugs as a way of self-medicating or forgetting the trauma
- Changes in daily life: Disruptions in daily routines, including hygiene, eating, etc., or decline in work or school performance
- Relationships challenges: Changes in intimacy, trust issues, or withdrawal from significant others, friends, and family
- Sexual behavior changes: Significant changes in sexual behavior, such as hypersexuality or avoidance of sexual activity
- Unexplained STIs or pregnancy: Contracting sexually transmitted infections or becoming pregnant unexpectedly
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or needs urgent assistance, call 911 or the Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Eternal Site) at 1-800-871-7741 for help.
Supporting someone who has been impacted by sexual violence should be done with care, empathy, and respect for their autonomy. Everyone experiences and reacts to sexual violence differently, and what may be helpful for one individual may not be as effective for another. Allow their unique needs to guide the type of support you provide them.
Here are some ways to provide support to someone impacted by sexual violence:
- Listen and believe: Start by actively listening. Offer a nonjudgmental and safe space for them to share their experiences if they choose to. Understand that disclosure is a personal decision, and don’t pressure them to share their experiences with you. Believe and validate their feelings and emotions.
- Respect their choices: Provide support but avoid making decisions on their behalf. Understand they must make their own choices about if, when, and how they want to proceed. Don’t pressure them into actions they are not ready for, such as reporting the incident or seeking therapy.
- Provide resources: Offer information about available resources, such as their campus Confidential Resource Advisor, local sexual assault support center, etc. Remember you are not expected to be the expert. Allow them to decide if and when they want to access these resources. Help them access these resources if they need additional support.
- Offer practical assistance: Ask if there are specific ways you can help with daily tasks, such as preparing meals, running errands, or providing transportation if needed.
- Respect their privacy: Respect their privacy and confidentiality. Do not share their story or experiences without their explicit consent. It is their right to tell their own story if and when they choose to do so.
- Be sensitive: Be mindful of potential trauma reminders and sensitive topics. Avoid asking them intrusive questions and only discuss the subject if they are comfortable doing so.
- Be patient: Be patient and supportive as they cope with their trauma and its effects. Be understanding if their needs change over time. Healing is a personal journey, and only they get to determine what that looks like for them.
- Encourage self care: Remind them to prioritize self care. Suggest activities that bring them comfort, and offer to engage in these activities together.
- Check in: Regularly check in with them to see how they are doing and if they need any support. Let them know you are still there for them.
- Educate yourself: Learn about the impacts of sexual violence and trauma. Keep up to date on the various resources available. Prepare yourself to better understand and support the person who has experienced sexual violence.
The key to supporting someone is to be present, compassionate, and responsive to their needs and choices throughout their healing journey. However, this can be challenging if you are not also taking care of yourself. It is important to practice self care to ensure your own well-being.
Supporting someone who has experienced sexual violence can be emotionally difficult. Seek your own support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist if needed. You can also connect with your campus Confidential Resource Advisor or an advocate at your local sexual assault support center for additional support.
Additional Resources
University of Maine System Title IX
For sexual harassment, sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, stalking, and sexual misconduct across the University of Maine System
Liz Lavoie, Title IX Coordinator
207-581-5866 | titleix@maine.edu
Maine Coalition Against
Sexual Assault
For rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence in the state of Maine
24/7 Helpline: 1-800-871-7741
Rape, Abuse & Incest
National Network
For rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence nationwide
24/7 Helpline: 1-800-656-4673
National Sexual Violence
Resource Center
For resources on preventing and responding to sexual violence nationwide